Well here I am at almost 4:15 a.m and wide awake which is not good but I just could not sleep and it really is starting to annoy me a whole lot. But this has not interfeard in me being HAPPY becaue I am the happies I have been in a very long time. I am starting to feel like life is worth living again. I mean I would never do anything to end my life but the thought did enter my mind just for a second when things weren't going to well last week. But I have many things to be THANKFUL for and my therapist has pointed these out to me several times in my sessions with him but of course stubborn me wanted to just deny it and not listen. He is having me keep a journal and he had me list all the BLESSINGS in my life and earlier this morning I was reading them all again and they just jumped off the page and it struck me that I am very blessed and I need to be alot more thankful than I am . My blessings are as follow.........

Michelle's Blessings:

1. I have a wonderful supportive family who really cares about me.

2. I have wonderful friends who also are very supportive and care about what I am dealing with.

3. My sweetie...(he knows who he is) who is sooo loving, supportive, helpful and keeps me in line and on track and I love him a whole lot for it

4. my wonderful nieces and nephews ....they are all there for me and care so much about me....sometimes they have acted way more mature than me too.

5. God is number one in my life ...He has helped me to keep my strength and my faith in all that I have been going through for the past year or so....if it weren't for Him I am not so sure I would be on this earth right now.

6. My therapist has been a lifesaver ....I never thought I would see myself in therapy but it truly has helped me and even though alot of what I have to deal with has been painful and heart wrenching I have survived it and gotten through it and in the end it has made me a much better person and a happier person too .

So yes I have lots and lots to be THANKFUL for ....I am truly BLESSED and I almost forgot about these things because I was so set on concentrating about all the negative in my life ...but the positive does out weigh the negative that is for sure